The Connections Bernards Ridge Edition Apr/May 2025
The Connection Magazines - A PRINT & DIGITAL PUBLICATION | 3 PRINT magazines | Direct mail to 80,000 residences and businesses.
Bernards-Ridge Edition Bernardsville, Basking Ridge, Bedminster, Mendham, Far Hills, Peapack/Gladstone, Chester, Morristown
VOLUME XCIX
APRIL/MAY 2025
WOMEN-OWNED Celebrating the Accomplishments of Local Businesswomen WELCOME SPRING! Local Shopping, Dining, Beauty & Events COMMUNITY NEWS Mansion in May Showhouse & Gardens at Wildfair
PLAY TO WIN Details on page 6!
Cover Artwork By Joyce Lembo
K ELLY P ETERPAUL Sales Associate License #00340220 908.410.6777 Cell 908.766.0808 Office kellypeterpaul.net kelly.peterpaul@gmail.com
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COLDWELL BANKER REALTY 1 So. Finley Ave., Basking Ridge NJ 07920 ©2024 Coldwell Banker Realty. All rights reserved. Coldwell Banker Realty fully supports the principles of the Fair Housing Act and Equal Opportunity Act. Operated by a subsidiary of Anywhere, the logo are registered service marks owned by Coldwell Banker Realty. Not intended as a solicitation if your property is already listed by another broker. Real estate agents affiliated with Coldwell Banker are independent contractors, sales associates, not employees.
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THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION
PAGE 6
APRIL//MAY2025
H ighlights...
A Note From Our Publisher...
Spring has sprung, bringing with it the warmth of the sun, longer days, and a renewed sense of energy! As we step into this vibrant season, we also celebrate the many new businesses that have recently opened their doors in our community. We’re excited to bring you the April issue of our Bernards-Ridge Connection , your trusted resource for all things local. This issue is particularly special as we shine a well-deserved spot
11 12
Roofing Revelations - Best Choice Roofing
Lawyer’s View - Fox Rothschild 14-22 SHOPPING, DINING, BEAUTY & EVENTS 17 Commends - The Red Balloon - Summit 20
Fashion Flash - Adam’s Fine Clothing and Tuxedo
THE CONNECTION MAGAZINE'S TEAM Donna Reina, Georgeann Agaisse, Heather Silver, Patty Herman, Alicia Singman This issue is packed with valuable editorial content and business spotlights to help you discover the best local services—whether you're looking for health and wellness providers, home improvement experts, kid-friendly resources, or senior services, we have you covered. Warm regards, Anna Petro light on Women-Owned Businesses. Inside, you’ll find a dedicated directory featuring the incredible women who have built and nurtured businesses right here in our neigh borhood. As a fellow woman-owned business, I want to extend my heartfelt congratula tions to these inspiring entrepreneurs for their hard work, dedication, and the invaluable services they provide to our community. I encourage you to stop by to support them, help these businesses thrive, and #TellThemWeSentYou! We are also thrilled to highlight Mansion in May , a remarkable event that transforms a historic estate into a breathtaking design showcase, all in support of Morristown Hospi tal. This extraordinary fundraiser, led by a women’s organization, brings together talent ed designers who pour their creativity into making this event a true masterpiece. Be sure to explore our Home & Design section, where you’ll find a feature on Mansion in May, as well as some of the incredible designers who contributed to this year’s transformation. Please take some time to read our articles. They are filled with valuable information and written by experts in their fields. You will be glad you did! If you’re looking for life ad vice, turn to Slice of Life by Ellyn Mantell . Life is full of change and unexpected happen ings, but can you pivot? Flexibility and adaptability are traits that will help you navigate life’s uncertainties. Ellen describes how she learned to become more flexible and shares tips on how you can “build the flexibility muscle,” too. In keeping with the theme of spring, it is time to get outdoors and admire all of na ture’s grandeur. What better place than Duke Farms in Hillsborough ! Read our Family Adventures column by Joanne Kleinle and discover all that this gorgeous estate has to o er. As Joanne puts it, Duke Farms, “is a magical place to simply enjoy nature, art and history.” April’s cover artist is Joyce Lembo . After 10 joyous years of caring for her 5 grand kids, she decided to pursue painting at age 73. And we are so happy she did! Her paint ing, titled Waterlily , was inspired from a visit to Grounds for Sculpture . The lily pond there was dingy from an orange haze due to the recent fires in Canada. Through creative interpretation and enhancements, Joyce transformed the photo into the fabulous work of art that graces our cover.
24-25 WOMEN OWNED DIRECTORY 26-35 HEALTH & WELLNESS 26
Medical Minutes - Janjua Facial Surgery
28 30 32 34 35 36 49
Mind the Mind - Dr. Michael Osit
Health Hotline - NMR
Food for Thought - Lori Kolodin, MPH, RD
Slice of Life - Ellyn Mantell
The Art of Living – Barry Farber, Diamond Minds HOUSES OF WORSHIP FAITH, HOPE & JOY Senior Health - Chatham Subacute Care Center
50-51 SENIOR LIVING 50 52-54 KIDZ CONNECTION 52
Senior Corner - Ellyn Mantell
Family Adventures – Joanne Kleinle
53 54 55
Commends - Greater Somerset County YMCA
Teen Voice - Shrey Sharma
Commends - Crown Veterinary Specialists & Associates
56-60 SPOTLIGHT: MANSION IN MAY 56 Community News - Mansion in May 61-76 HOME & DESIGN 65 Commends - Flemington Tile Supply 68 Home Improvement - TrueLeaf Kitchens 70 Commends - The Decorating Store 78-79 COMMUNITY CALENDAR 80 Creative Corner - Carolyn Hanson
Joyce Lembo Title: Waterlily Medium: acrylic, oil, photography, enhanced-photography and mixed media on canvas Born in Brooklyn, I graduated from the High School of Art and Design in NYC. After a year in NYC Community College, majoring in art, I became a package and label de signer and later- art director in two studios in NYC. I have taught over 25 years as a professional art teacher in Staten Island and New Jersey. I have studied art at The Istituto Lorenzo de' Medici in Florence, while working on my BA at the College of Staten Island. My passions are painting, working on my children’s book series-The Cats and Their Tales- and spending time with my family. My artwork and book series have been in seven library galleries this year. You can reach me at: joycelembo1949@gmail.com. CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Eileen Barna, Dennis Bree, Kaylynn Ebner, Barry Farber, Barbara Gallo, Carolyn Hanson, Tanveer Janjua, MD, Joanne Kleinle, Lori Kolodin, Jessica Diamond Lia, Ellyn Mantell, David J. Marzano, Jenayah Mathis-Minnigan, Dr. Michael Osit, James Preimesberger, Dr. Vince Sferra, Shrey Sharma, Eric S. Soloto , Scott Spinelli ON OUR COVER
PUBLISHED BY The Connection Magazine P.O. Box 4081, Warren, NJ 07059
908-903-1799 |
info@theconnectionsnj.com
Next Issue June! Advertising deadline May 23, 2025
Somewhere in this magazine is a FAKE AD . Spot it and send your answer, along with your name, city or town and phone number to: spotthefake@theconnectionsnj.com or play online at theconnectionsnj.com The WINNER of the Bespoke Butler ad in the February issue is Elena Secula of Basking Ridge. Elena won a gift certificate to the Bernard's Cafe in Bernardsville . SPOT THE FAKE!
Disclaimer: The views expressed in the articles are the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Connection Mag azines. We publish all advertisements, editorials and other content in good faith. We cannot guarantee or accept liability for the accuracy of the claims made by the advertisers.
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THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION
PAGE 10
APRIL//MAY2025
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THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION
APRIL//MAY 2025
PAGE 11
Homeowners Beware: How an Old Roof Could Lead to Insurance Cancellation By Dennis Bree, Owner of Best Choice Roofing Jersey Shore ROOFING REVELATIONS Y
2. Perform Regular Maintenance Simple tasks like cleaning gutters and re placing missing shingles can extend your roof’s life and maintain coverage. 3. Consider Repairs or Replacement If your roof is nearing 20 years old, replac ing it before an insurer cancels your policy might be wise. Protect Your Home and Stay Covered Losing homeowners insurance due to an ag ing roof can leave you vulnerable. By taking action now—through inspections, main tenance, or replacement—you can ensure your home stays protected. Best Choice Roofing has provided quality service for over 15 years as a Platinum Pre ferred Contractor for Owens Corning. For a limited time, we’re offering a free roof in spection with an insurance-grade report and expert advice on repairs or replacements. Scan the QR code in our ad above to see if you qualify for this complimentary offer! Contact Best Choice Roofing Jersey Shore Best Choice Roofing Jersey Shore: Phone: (908) 933-0033 or visit our website at www.bestchoiceroofing.com/jersey-shore.
• 10-15 years – Some insurance companies refuse to cover asphalt shingle roofs beyond this point. • 15-20 years – Coverage may still be avail able but often with higher premiums or re duced payout options. • 20+ years – Many insurers won’t renew policies unless the roof passes an inspection or has been recently replaced. Insurers may offer actual cash value (ACV) coverage, which pays based on deprecia tion, not full replacement cost. Replacing a 20-year-old asphalt roof in New Jersey could cost $12,000, but under ACV, an in surer might reimburse $4,000, leaving you responsible for the difference. Proactive Steps to Keep Your Policy Active 1. Schedule a Roof Inspection A certified contractor like Best Choice Roofing can assess your roof’s condition and provide documentation to help keep coverage active.
our roof is your home’s first line of defense, but if it’s too old, insurers may see it as a risk. Many New Jersey homeowners are finding that insurers are tightening pol icies, reducing coverage, or insurers are tightening pol even canceling policies due to roof age. Un even canceling policies due to roof age. Un derstanding why insurers view older roofs as a liability and how to stay covered is essential. Why Insurers Consider Older Roofs a Liability Insurance companies base their policies on risk. As a roof ages, it becomes more suscep tible to leaks, storm damage, and failures. Even if a roof looks intact, years of exposure can cause unseen issues. New Jersey’s climate of heavy snow, rain,
and hurricane-force winds accelerates roof wear. In 2021, Hurricane Ida caused $75 million in property damage, with roofs tak ing the brunt. In fear of sudden claims for extensive damage, insurers may limit cover age or require homeowners to replace aging roofs before renewing policies. Material affects a roof’s longevity. Asphalt shingles, the most common roofing material in New Jersey, typically last 15 to 25 years. Metal and slate roofs can last 50 years or more. Knowing your roof’s lifespan helps you plan for insurance requirements. What Age Limit Most Insurers Enforce on Roof Coverage Many insurers set strict age limits on roofs, typically:
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THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION
PAGE 12
APRIL//MAY2025
When It’s Your Move High-net-worth divorce is complicated. Division of assets, complex income, custody. The rules can seem tilted against you. Our attorneys have the legal know-how and national firm resources it
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LAWYER’S VIEW Courts Don’t Take Kindly to Stalling Tactics when
that the husband had met his prima facie bur den and ordered the filing of Case Information Statements (CIS), discovery, and a plenary hearing. The discovery was to be completed by Nov. 30, 2022. His ex-spouse sought to extend discovery and then refused to answer discovery or file a CIS. She repeatedly refused to provide financial discovery in response to discovery demands or court orders. Rather, she filed numerous mo tions, including repeated motions to quash subpoenas. On July 12, 2023, the trial court heard mul tiple motions and put an end to the games. At that hearing, the court granted the ex-hus band’s motion to bar his ex-wife’s opposition to terminate alimony. The basis of the decision was the wife’s “…intentional and material re fusal to comply with discovery orders, ‘pursu ant to Rule 4:23-2.’’’ The court then found that the husband had proven cohabitation as well as financial en tanglements between the wife and the alleged cohabitant based on the limited financial in formation he was able to obtain via subpoenas. The court specifically found the commingling of funds for various purposes. The court also noted that the wife received a substantial inher itance that she failed to fully disclose. The wife appealed and the Appellate Division affirmed the decision. The takeaway from this case is this: Not co
operating is not an option. The wife brazenly defied orders and the court made her pay. The other lesson is that in certain limited situations, alimony can be terminated without a plenary hearing. Questions about custody or other family law issues? Contact Eric S. Solotoff, Eric S. Solotoff, Co-Chair of Fox Rothschild’s Family Law Department, at esolotoff@foxrothschild.com or 973.994.7501; or Jessica Diamond Lia, Jessica Diamond Lia, a Partner in the firm’s Family Law Department, at jlia@foxrothschild.com or 973.992.7517. When the court decides whether to terminate or reduce alimony because the recipient has moved in with a new partner, it follows a multistep process.
Alimony/Cohabitation Is at Issue By Eric S. Solotoff and Jessica Diamond Lia
I
t’s well known that a divorced spouse receiving alimony who moves in with a new significant other often forfeits his/her alimony. Few, however, are familiar with that process. A recent New Jersey court case demonstrates that simply refusing to cooperate is not a smart strategy if you are an allegedly cohabitating spouse. When the court decides
documentation regarding the cohabitation and finances, including any financial interde pendence between the alimony recipient and the proposed cohabitant. Intertwined finances, and/or one cohabitant supporting the other, are relevant. The third step is typically a plenary hearing
(trial) at which the trial court hears the evidence and makes a determination. It is uncommon to see ali mony terminated before step 3. But that is what happened in Winner v. Winner, an un reported (non-precedential) Appellate Division decision released on Feb. 21, 2025. It is uncommon to see ali
whether to terminate or re duce alimony because the recipient has moved in with a new partner, it follows a multistep process. The first step is for the alimony-pay ing spouse to file a motion providing proof of cohabita
In Winner, the parties were divorced in 2011 and the husband was required to pay alimony. In July 2022, after hiring a private investigator, the husband filed a motion to terminate, sus pend, or modify alimony based on cohabita tion. In September 2022, the trial court found
tion to show a prima facie case. The New Jersey Supreme Court in Cardali v. Cardali remind ed trial courts and practitioners alike that this should not be a heavy burden. The second step is discovery. The alleged cohabitating spouse must provide financial
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THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION
APRIL//MAY 2025
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SHOPPING, DINING, BEAUTY & EVENTS
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SHOPPING, DINING, BEAUTY & EVENTS
PAGE 17
COMMENDS The Red Balloon Offers Elevated Clothing for Children By Kaylynn Ebner CONNECTION
386 Springfield Ave. Summit, NJ 908-273-1776 www.theredballoonsummit.com
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Kavanagh says she focuses on bringing “unique and elevated” pieces into The Red The Red Balloon from baby and children’s clothing designers that you won’t find everywhere. Customers can shop from lines such as Kissy Kissy, Angel Dear, Florence Eisman, Mayoral, Pink Chicken, Petit Ami, and more. The store also offers a variety of hair accessories and gift items like small toys, books, sticker books, blankets, and more. “We’re very excited about the new spring collections that have come in with fun, col orful prints and great items for vacations like swimwear and coverups,” says Kavanagh. Top-notch customer service is also a ma jor focus of The Red Balloon The Red Balloon. Kavanagh frequently helps shoppers find coordinating outfits for family photos or the perfect dress clothes for a special occasion. She also loves helping customers select special infant and newborn clothing and gifts. “We’ve also done personal shopping if people are looking for something specific or want us to set aside items in a certain size,” says Kavanagh. “We’ll help people over the phone or even over Facetime if they want to see our selection.” From gifts and accessories to this season’s on-trend clothing, The Red Balloon The Red Balloon helps little ones look and feel great in excep tional clothing that’s hard to find in other boutiques. The store carries newborn sizes through size 14 for boys and girls. “It is very special that we have generation after generation of customers who keep coming back to shop with us.” To learn about new arrivals, promotions, and special events, follow The Red Balloon The Red Balloon on Instagram @TheRedBalloonSummit and Facebook facebook.com/theredballoonsummit. Find the store at 386 Springfield Avenue in Summit.
hoppers looking for unique cloth ing and accessories for babies, kids, and tweens have a go-to option in the heart of downtown Summit-The Red Balloon The Red Balloon. This children’s clothing boutique has a 40-year legacy of dressing children in beautiful, high-quality apparel. “Customers who shopped for their children here are now shopping for their grandchil dren here,” says owner Nicole Kavanagh. “It is very special that we have generation after generation of customers who keep coming back to shop with us. We really do know our customers and feel a connection with them. We grow with them as their children grow.”
Boys and Girls Baby to Size 14
For the past 12 years, the store has been owned by Kavanagh, a former NYC cloth ing designer with a fashion design degree from Pratt Institute. Her goal is to offer ex ceptional clothing that has children looking their best for any occasion, whether it’s a cute vacation outfit or swimsuit, the perfect birthday look, or timeless holiday apparel. In addition, the store carries beautiful Bap tism and Communion dresses and suits, and helps customers shop for these kinds of special occasions by appointment. The Red The Red Balloon also specializes in comfortable, du rable, yet fashionable everyday clothing and playwear for school, camp, and home. “I try to offer a wide variety of options tailored to my clients’ lifestyles,” states Ka vanagh, noting that styles range from classic and timeless to fashionable and trendy, but pieces are always tasteful and high-quality.
The Red Balloon - Summit 386 Springfield Ave. Summit, NJ 07901 908-273-1776 | theredballoonsummit.com @theredballoonsummit
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SHOPPING, DINING, BEAUTY & EVENTS
PAGE 19
R. WEISS JEWELERS
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SHOPPING, DINING, BEAUTY & EVENTS
PAGE 20
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Adams Fine Clothing & Tuxedo 1275 Springfield Ave. New Providence, NJ 07974 908-665-0800 www.adamsfineclothing.com
FASHIONFLASH Dr. Strangecloth or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Clothing By David J. Marzano Manager, Adams Fine Clothing and Tuxedo
or personal style. I know you have that per fect pair of jeans that fit just right and make you smile every time you slip them on. The rest of your clothing can and SHOULD feel just as good to wear as those favorite jeans.
silk, and linen three-piece suit. It was made even more special by monogramming his and his partner’s initials on the inside. He loves that suit. He felt great, and he looked fantastic! Every time he wears it, it makes him smile. At the end of the day, it doesn’t have to be more complicated than that. So, I implore you dear readers…wear your clothes, love them, and have fun in them! Don’t settle for anything less.
The most important part of having a relationship with your clothing is simple. Find joy in your wardrobe!
Not on board with my menswear ram blings yet? Let me tell you about two real life examples. One day I had a client renting a tuxedo. We were going through the black tie check list (which every guy should have, but that’s for another article). We started to discuss cufflinks and a spark went off in his eyes. He described in detail a very special set of cufflinks passed down from his grand father. The way he spoke about those cuf flinks was something I love to see. To him, they weren’t two small pieces of metal. They were cherished heirlooms that brought a smile to his face every time he slipped them on. THIS is having a relationship with and enjoying your clothes. Finally, have a look at these two handsome guys in the picture-Derek and his brother Jake. They are two of my best friends. This picture was taken on Derek’s wedding day. We made him this beautiful terracotta wool, Not on board with my menswear ram
R
elationships are what keep this crazy world of ours spinning. Some are ro mantic, some business, and some are ones of animosity. How we interact with each other affects everything we do. While the relationships I’m speaking of are at the hu man level, relationships we have with inan imate objects in our daily lives matter too.
Here’s why you need to have a relationship with your clothing. Relationships go both ways, so take care of your clothes and they’ll take care of you. If you wear a suit, come home, throw it on a chair or in a ball on the floor, do you think that suit is going to appreciate it or perform the way it should when it’s been treated worse than your gym socks? (Spoiler alert it won’t.) You don’t need to baby your cloth ing. Your clothing is supposed to have your back (literally and metaphorically). Take care of it when it needs it, and you’ll always look fresh. The most important part of having a re lationship with your clothing is simple. Find joy in your wardrobe! Life is too short to wear something that you don’t like or something that does not flatter your body
For more information, please stop into our store and see for yourself how good you can look. Adams Fine Clothing & Tuxedo
1275 Springfield Avenue in New Providence, New Jersey
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SHOPPING, DINING, BEAUTY & EVENTS
PAGE 21
ROSADO & PUNTO
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PAGE 22
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THE BERNARDS-RIDGE CONNECTION
APRIL//MAY 2025
PAGE 23
Divorce and Family Lawyer Katherine K. Wagner can provide you with the experience, dedication and passion you need to get through your divorce or family law matter with the best possible and achievable outcomes for you and your family DON’T FACE DIVORCE AND FAMILY LAW ISSUES ALONE Katherine K. Wagner Attorney at Law
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DINING OUT HEALTH & WELLNESS
PAGE 26
MEDICAL MINUTES Non-Surgical Facelift with Sofwave By Tanveer Janjua, MD
Results & Maintenance Skin tightening continues for up to three months, with full results visible after this period. A recommended initial treatment plan consists of three sessions, spaced three months apart. The results typically last 3 to 5 years, with optional annual touch-ups to maintain the effect. Sofwave is an excellent alternative for in dividuals experiencing early signs of facial aging—especially those noticing the forma tion of jowls or mild neck sagging. It’s also a great option for patients who have had a facelift and want to maintain their results, as well as those who cannot undergo surgery due to medical reasons. If you’re looking for a non-invasive, effective way to rejuvenate your skin, Sofwave lets you ride the waves of aging with confidence!
layers while keeping the surface intact, min imizing redness and irritation. The procedure is simple and efficient: • A numbing cream is applied to the treat ment area. • A smooth wand delivers ultrasound pulses to heat the underlying skin. • The wand is moved systematically to treat the entire area.
facelift without surgery—it al most sounds too good to be true. But in 2025, advancements in aesthetic technology have made non-surgical facelifts a reality. The goal of any facelift, surgical or non-sur gical, is to tighten the skin. While traditional facelifts initially focused on removing excess skin, modern techniques target deeper layers of skin and muscle to achieve longer-lasting results. Despite these innovations, the fun damental objective remains the same: creat ing a firm, youthful appearance of the face and neck. The Evolution of Skin Tightening Technology Over the years, various technologies have been developed to address skin laxity, in cluding lasers, radiofrequency, and ultra sound-based devices. The integration of laser technology into the medical dates back to 1951. By 1962, Dr. Leon Goldman became the first surgeon to use lasers for cosmetic purposes, removing A facelift without surgery—it al
an unwanted tattoo. As laser technology ad vanced, it became widely used in skin care treatments, primarily leveraging heat to stimulate collagen production. This process not only encouraged long-term skin reju venation but also provided an immediate tightening effect—similar to how heat caus es a burger to shrink on a grill. While medical lasers effectively treated surface wrinkles, they were limited in their ability to tighten deeper tissues. The real breakthrough came with the development of ultrasound and radiofrequency devices, which penetrated deeper layers of the skin, delivering more significant and longer-last ing tightening effects. Why Sofwave? Among the many non-surgical skin-tight ening devices available today, Sofwave stands out as a top choice. This FDA-ap proved ultrasound-based device works by delivering controlled heat to deeper skin
The procedure takes approximately one hour, with minimal discomfort. Unlike some treatments that cause peeling or pro longed redness, Sofwave requires no down time—you can resume your daily activities immediately. What Areas Can Sofwave Treat? Sofwave is effective for: √ Tightening sagging skin on the neck (re ducing the “turkey wattle” effect) √ Lifting the forehead to create a more open, youthful eye appearance √ Contouring and firming the jowls √ Improving acne scarring
Janjua Facial Surgery 2345 Lamington Road, Suite 108 Bedminster, NJ 07921 (908) 470-2600 www.janjuafacialsurgery.com
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HEALTH & WELLNESS
PAGE 27
Mobile Labs One
THE PROCESS
is a privately owned small business located in Somerset County, New Jersey. We provide In Home laboratory services to all residents throughout Central New Jersey with a focus on Somerset and Morris Counties.
908-206-4062 info@mobilelabsone.com www.mobilelabsone.com 41 Concord Ln. Basking Ridge, NJ 07920 CALL US TODAY 1 Fill out a simple form, schedule an appointment and have your necessary documents ready when the tech gets there. 2 We will arrive at your home at the scheduled time and should be there no more than 15 mins. 3 Once we have the completed patient information form, a copy of your insurance id card (if applicable)and a copy of your identification, we will collect your specimens and be on our way. Your doctor will receive your results usually within 48 hours unless otherwise notified. If you do not have access to a copy machine for your documents, no worries as we travel with a mobile printer/scanner and can make the copies upon arrival if needed. Give us a try. You will feel so much better when you don’t have to deal with the stress normally associated with having lab work done. Call or schedule an appointment online today. You’ll be glad you did. 4
No more driving and waiting. You can schedule an appointment with us to have our certified phlebotomist come to your home at your convenience to obtain your laboratory specimens.
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We will come to your home at your convenience to collect your lab samples. Simply fill out the form online and schedule an appointment with us. There is a nominal fee associated with this service.
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DINING OUT HEALTH & WELLNESS
PAGE 28
WWW.SUKOONTHERAPY.COM
MIND THE MIND There Is No Substitute for Experience By Dr. Michael Osit
When you do something repeatedly, over time it seems easy and automatic, almost requiring no thought. There is no substitute for experience to achieve excel lence. If you have difficulty trying some thing new because you are concerned it might be too difficult or that you might fail, remember that persistence and rep etition will likely eventually result in success. Through repeated successive ap proximations, and making errors along the way, you can achieve mastery over most tasks if you do them enough times. Once mastery is achieved, it is possi ble that an aberration can occur in your routine approach to a problem or task. For example, if the roads are icy on the same route to your job as you take ev ery morning. Normally, you can listen to music, podcasts, or talk shows without even thinking about the directions. It is as if one part of your brain is operating the vehicle without you even realizing it, while the aware part of your brain is lis tening to the audio. When the roads are treacherous, however, you use your expe rience to take care of the mundane aspects of driving, but you pay close attention to the aspects of driving that are normally
automatic. Your mastery of fundamental driving skills acquired through experience enables you to navigate when the driving conditions deviate from the norm. Engaging in new activities, tasks, or problems to be solved can feel ominous. If you accept the fact that there will be mistakes along the way, persistence and repetition will eventually lead to suc cess and experience will prevail. Through repeated successive approximations, and making errors along the way, you can achieve mastery over most tasks if you do them enough times. Dr. Michael Osit is a Licensed Psycholo gist practicing in Warren, and author of The Train Keeps Leaving Without Me: A Guide to Happiness, Freedom, and Self Fulfillment (2016), and Generation Text: Raising Well Adjusted Kids In An Age Of Instant Everything (2008)
H
ave you ever played a game on your cell phone or tablet, learned to drive a car, made the same recipe re peatedly, used a remote control or any electronic device, or simply done some thing for the first time and then done it frequently thereafter? Chances are, you have done one or more of these. When you learn or try something for the first time, a certain amount of anxiety stems from the concern that you will not be able to do it well or that you will fail. What usually happens? After doing a task repeatedly, it eventually becomes easy and you often can then mindless ly complete it. You may even learn to streamline the task and accomplish it more efficiently. Learning to drive is one example.
When you first got behind the wheel, you had to consciously think about how to start the engine, put the car in Drive, and pay attention to the use of the gas pedal, brake, turns, and the car’s position in the lane. Do you think about any of these steps now when you get into your car to drive? Absolutely not. They are automatic and became habitual because of repetition.
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