The Connections Bernards Ridge Edition Apr/May 2025

SENIOR LIVING

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SENIOR CORNER Caregiving Can Happen Quickly By Ellyn Mantell I

magine your spouse/partner awakens in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, falls, and is on the floor in terrible pain. Your world has just changed, and will probably not return to “normal” for quite a while, if ever. Suddenly, you are a caregiver, and realize you feel unprepared for your new role. That is the situation many se niors are in when they, themselves, are at a time in their lives where they are feeling less capable than ever of han dling the unexpected. The emergency squad will, undoubtedly, assist with the immediate situation, which is to assess your spouse/partner and make deci sions based on his or her health. Trans porting her to the hospital or determin ing if his vitals are within the norm are all extremely important steps to man aging the situation and giving you time to adjust to the trauma and anxiety you are experiencing. That is the first part of the change you are experiencing.

That might be a very huge mistake! In order to protect yourself from the long-term deleterious effects of an ac cident or illness, such as trauma and fear, it is imperative that a commitment be made to protect your own health. If it seems selfish to think about yourself at this time, imagine the consequenc es of you becoming infirm or unable to assist in your spouse/partner’s re covery. Who will provide comfort and support, meals, trips to doctors, etc.? I can’t stress enough the value of maintaining your own health. That may mean returning home for a nap midday, taking a respite by dining in the cafeteria rather than in the pa tient’s room, joining friends or fami ly for dinner, or taking a yoga or ex ercise class. Routine works very well for all of us in good times, and even better in challenging ones. Please do your best to follow what has given you comfort and peace, and create new ways to achieve that, if possible. Lastly, please remember to soothe your worry and anxiety by speaking with a counselor, social worker, cler gy, or family member who can offer not only comfort but practical ways to manage this demanding time. Your strength will be tested, but you are up to the challenge. You’ve got this, as difficult as it feels at the moment. Now you have a new title, that of caregiver, and that can be daunting.

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Now you have a new title, that of caregiver, and that can be daunting. Your knee jerk reaction may be to jump in with all of your might and all of your determination. You might spend every waking minute in the hospital with your spouse, ignor ing your own need to eat, sleep, exer cise, or take your own medication.

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