The Connections Bridgewater Somerville Edition June 2025

SHOPPING, BEAUTY & EVENTS

PAGE 30

SLICE OF LIFE

Are You One of the Many Currently Suffering from Trauma? Want to find a way out and begin the healing process? Ellyn’s story speaks to the joy life can bring.

By Ellyn Mantell If I Can, You Can!

W alking to school one windy day in March when I was in 6th grade, I decided that at some point I would write my story. Al though I couldn’t identify how di er ent my family was from my friends, I knew that I internalized and created a is is the most di cult part of writing-having someone want to make changes to the words

to have the rst edit and chose a friend who was a journalist. “Be totally hon est, even brutal. Do not spare my feel ings.” She found parts she liked and parts that needed work. is is the most di cult part of writing-having someone want to make changes to the words you worked so hard to nd, the feelings you emit, and the e orts you have made. Once we agreed it was ready, I sub mitted a few chapters to the publishing house that published my rst book, and they were “all in.” Now it would go through even deeper edits, questions, the “why’s” of each word, the “tell me more about that” of a statement. It is the grueling part but having another read your work and want to better un derstand your thoughts is intriguing. e title was the next big challenge as I moved through the process. We chose e Best We Could: Healing from Intergenerational Trauma be cause my memoir is simply about the fact that all of us in my family did the best we could. If we could have done better, we would have. My parents kept us together, even as they hurt each other and us. ere was love, there was hate, there was passion, there was destruction, there was pain and grief, but there was the support of my sisters, and to this day, my sisters and I are al ways there for each other. I share this with you because there are so many who su er from trauma and pain and heal from it as well. I chose to share my story through my writing. If you are one who also su ers from trauma, I encourage you to nd a way of healing. If I can, so can you.

Ellyn shares how she triumphed over

intergenerational trauma and empowered herself to become an advocate for those with similar struggles.

you worked so hard to nd, the feelings you emit, and the e orts you have made.

The Best We Could will guide survivors of abuse to discover a path to healing.

means of coping with chaos that took a lot of my energy, and perhaps my soul. Over the years, I wrote a chapter here or there, and then I was fortu nate to join a Writer’s Group where we now live in Florida. Initially, although it was memoir-style, I wrote u y and easy-to-read-aloud stories about my life. at, however, eventually felt fake, not in keeping with the truthfulness with which I want to live. Awakening one day, I took the pro verbial pen to paper or ngertips to the keyboard (since I am a modern woman!) and began to write, from my heart. Truth, not ction. Not cleansed and sterile. Not washed and sanitized. I wrote every day, twice a day, early morning and before turning o my computer at night. e words poured out of me, since a er all, this was my life and these were my memories. Each night, I would print what I wrote, and then each morning I would edit, some times ad nauseam, parsing and eradi cating any super uous word. Later in the day, I did the same again. As my memoir began to take shape, the chapters went from amorphous to gelling, giving way to the next and suddenly, I had a memoir! I was ready

About Ellyn Mantell: Ellyn has 2 beautiful daughters of her own, and she lives with her husband of over fifty years in Florida. Her other works include, So Much More than My Ostomy: Loving My Perfectly Imperfect Body (2021). She also writes 2 columns for The Connection Magazines: A Slice of Life and Senior Corner.

The Best We Could can be purchased at: bookshop.org, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, warrenpublishing.net, or ordered at most book stores.

Please visit:

@EllynMantellWrites

theconnectionsnj.com